Proverbs 8:13 “Pride brings destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. It is better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly than to live it up among the rich and famous “.
Why is pride a sin and more so why is it the one I struggle with the most? Pride is taking God’s glory and snatching it up for yourself. Pride is self-worship at its best. It is arrogance and sometimes its arrogance in disguise. The consequence of pride is huge and I do not want to face it. Satan got cast out of heaven because he thought he could be greater then God himself and could be a better ruler of the world. It says in Isaiah 14:22 “I will rise up against them” meaning the proud. If there was a top 3 sin list, I think adultery, murder and pride would be up there. But lucky for us God views them all the same.
It is very hard for me to write this and revealing to you what has haunted my spirit for years now is a necessary step for me to take. I need prayer and support from everybody. I need accountability and encouragement from my fellow brothers and sisters. My biggest sin is pride. The reason I am revealing this to you now is because I am realizing my consequence. Watching the beginning of Rear Window with Hal, Mike and Jason last night, I know that I shouldn’t wait for somebody to find out my weakness by peaking, I should be bold and say it right here, right now. God wants me to confess and he wants me to do it his way. Yes my sin is pride and worse yet it is arrogance in disguise.
Why disguise? Well it’s because nobody knows that I struggle with this. No, I don’t struggle with it in every aspect of my life but only is situations where I have something to prove. “Work”. I am so inconsistent and so messy. I have worked at my new store for 2 months now and other then one exception, nobody knows that I am a Christian. It is the worst thing I could possibly do. God, I am sure is frustrated with me. My desire to share the gospel with my fellow coworkers is so great but my pride gets in the way. What if they despise me after they find out? What if they stop listening to my directions as a leader? What if they think I’m crazy? They should think I’m crazy. They should know me and that there is a God I follow. My stupid pride gets in the way of Gods plan for me. I am a disappointment and an embarrassment to the Christian. The only thing that is getting me by right now is God’s promise to me and a supporting wife and family in RF.
So I am not giving up since God has not given up on me. It’s never too late and I will be bold from now on, like I am right now. I will pray for God to give me an opportunity to reveal my true self to my coworkers and to share with them the gospel. Pray for me please and I hope that you don’t look down upon me because of my weakness. I hope that you are willing to help me overcome this hurdle in my life.
